Sometimes it can feel as though we have lost the ability to relate to our partner. We might feel angry, frustrated and deeply hurt that they don’t seem to hear what we are trying to say… and sometimes, they might feel the same! It might be that you feel betrayed and are unable to imagine ever getting past these feelings
Counselling can offer a safe environment in which, facilitated by the therapist, you can be guided to freely express your feelings and feel secure enough to assert your needs openly and honestly.
Blame can become a significant part of a relationship that is in conflict, and both partners might really need to feel heard and appreciated before they can begin to let go of resentment. In couples’ therapy, you can learn new ways of communicating with each other. This might even mean that you can find a way to accept each other’s difficult feelings without necessarily trying to change them. You might begin to find ways of understanding the other’s perspective and resolving the conflict so that you are able to show care and kindness to each other again. Whilst there might clearly be big issues that feel insurmountable, it isn’t always necessary to agree on everything in order to live together in peace and harmony.
There can be an assumption that only couples who have been together for a significant amount of time can benefit from therapy. However, I also see couples who are at the beginning of a relationship and are noticing difficult issues beginning to surface. If this is your relationship and you feel determined not to repeat the patterns that might have proved problematic in previous relationships, then early intervention from counselling might really help to change this.